Things I'll never say
by LaxusPlayer
Summary: Mira has finally achieved her goal of shipping every one of her pairings. But who will be the one to ship the shipper? And who is the right person to pair them with?


Things I'll never say

_A/N: Ok so I ended up being waaaaay too drunk over the past week and a bit to finish the rest of the Christmas fics, so sorry about that guys :( In order to make it up to you, I figured I'd finally write the Miraxus fic that you've been waiting for; the one where something actually happens :P Thoughts are in italics. Enjoy..._

"And that's the last of it; all done!" Mira squealed in delight as she looked at her most prized possession, the Fairy Tail shipping wall. It had taken her many years and a lot of meddling to complete, but with Elfman and Evergreen officially dating she could sit back and relax.

"Well, not completely done..." Came the voice of Fairy Tail's other relationship guru as she entered the room with more paint.

"Nope; no more ships to sail. Everyone has left the port and is sailing happily out to sea."

"What about that little ship in the corner? That one that waited for all the other ships to leave?"

"Maybe, Cana, that ship wants to wait a bit longer until the sea calms down a bit. Maybe that ship is quite happy the way it is."

Cana sighed. "Mira c'mon; it's almost tragic that the main shipper in the guild doesn't have a boat of her own to sail on." She went over and put her arm around her friend. "You've got everyone else together; maybe its time for you to get yourself with someone?"

"As if he would..." Mira looked at the image of herself in the corner of the wall. Being the sort of person she was, it was Cana who had to draw her friend in. And the man's face next to her of course. "You know what he's like."

"_Damn right I do..._" Cana thought as she too looked at the pairing. "Still; you've a pretty good..."

Mira laughed. "Please Cana! As if he'd actually settle down with anyone, least of all little old me!" She put a hand on the picture and smiled. "Still, it's fun to imagine right?"

Cana glanced at her friend. "That's kinda sad Mira..."

The demon simply laughed again before turning round to get more green paint for Evergreen's dress, but not before letting her hand linger just a little too long.

"_Oh Mira..._" Cana thought, eyeing the pairing, "_What are we going to do with you...?_"

-_Meanwhile, in a local bar-_

"Down it! Down it! Down it!" The Thunder Legion cheered and their new drinking partner complied by finishing his pint. "Good job Elfman!"

"I can't feel my everything..." He announced before falling off his barstool into a coma.

Evergreen laughed. "Well Laxus I think we've done it again!"

"Yep; another victory for us over the World!" Bickslow agreed.

"At least this one had the insight not to fall on Master Laxus." Freed smiled before returning to admire his 'glorious leader'.

Said 'glorious leader' was wearing his trademark grin. "Please; did you expect anything else from me?! The only two people I know who can out drink me are Cana and Bacchus, and even then I'd give them a pretty good run for their money. Compared to them, this idiot is nothing." He stood up and raised his glass. "Hey, everyone! This guy says the drinks are on him!" The pub cheered and rushed to the bar as Laxus bent down and scooped out all of the money in Elfman's pockets.

"Sure that's enough boss?" Bickslow asked, dubiously eyeing the small amount of cash that Laxus produced from the unconscious man's pockets.

The blonde's grin widened. "Oh of course not, but that's half the fun!" Quickly picking up his coat, he motioned for his mean to make for the door before the crowd lynched them. Not that they couldn't handle it, just they preferred not to bust up their favourite drinking holes.

"Wait wait wait!" Evergreen panted after sprinting two blocks with her team mates. "I need to go back and help him."

"The hell do you wanna do that for?" Laxus asked in disbelief. "This shit's hilarious!"

"Are you questioning Master Laxus?!" Freed yelled, his eyes pretty much shooting lasers at the girl now. "Insubordination like this is UNACCEPTABLE!"

Evergreen stopped running and the others turned and looked at her. "If it was anyone else I'd happily leave them, but he's my boyfriend now and I kinda have to look after his sorry ass."

"Lame..." Bickslow muttered and he and his dolls rolled their eyes. Well, heads in the case of his dolls. That's what you get for buying cheap shit I guess.

"Oh? And what if it was Lisanna in there? Would you just leave her too?"

The doll mage paused for a minute before sighing and shaking his head. "And Freed; if Master Laxus was somehow in that situation, would you leave him?"

"How dare you question my loyalty to him!" He screamed before turning away in a huff.

The fairy lady laughed. "See! So I guess I'm not such a sop after all!"

"Nah you're still a pussy." Laxus rumbled before folding his arms. "In fact, all you've proven is that everyone else here bar me is too. God guys; why can't you all be cool like me?!"

The rest of the group looked at the man. "So wait...there's nobody out there you'd go back for?"

"For a little thing like that, Christ no!" He laughed at the thought of it, but to the others it seemed almost hollow.

"What about Wendy my Master?" Freed offered.

Laxus shot him a disgusted look. "Oh because I'm clearly going to take an under age girl drinking and then leave her in a bar! Do I look like Macao?!"

Bickslow had to laugh a little at that one. "Ok man but seriously, is there literally nobody you'd care enough for that you-..."

"Cut the crap doll face; you're asking me if there's anyone out there for me. Short answer; nobody available for hire. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go find and piss off Jellal. I haven't done that in a couple of weeks and I'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms." And with those words and a casual flipping off, the Thunder God left to go and bully his blue haired friend.

Bickslow and Freed just shrugged. "Guess that's a no then." the muttered before heading to the next pub to find another poor sucker.

Evergreen on the other hand began walking back to fetch what was left of her boyfriend with a ghost of a smile on her face. "_Nobody available huh? I guess that means there is someone..._"

-_After several pranks and millions of jewels worth of damage-_

"...AND YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR MAGIC EARPHONES RIGHT UP YOUR DICK!" Jellal yelled before slamming the door of the guild's locker room. "Christ I swear to god he needs to get laid more!"

"What did he do this time?" Erza asked, continuing to stack the shelves in the back of the room. Usually this was Mira's job, but she had been mysteriously called to the hospital to check that her brother was ok. Something about him having every bone in his body broken at a bar...

"Well this time he took it upon himself to build a Tower of Heaven in the middle of the town out of Lego, complete with a Lego me standing at the top with a speech bubble saying 'I'm a whiney bitch! Whine! Whine! Whine!' The hell does he even get this stuff from?!" Her boyfriend sighed exasperated and banged his head against the wall.

Erza finished stacking that particular box before putting an arm around Jellal. "Just don't let him get to you. We all know that he's a massive jerk and the more you react the more he'll do it."

The celestial mage looked at his partner. "Still though, is it just me or is he getting worse?"

"A little bit I guess..." There wasn't a time when Laxus hadn't been somewhat of a cunt, but she had to agree that recently he had seriously upped his game. "But why?"

Jellal shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe he has too much time on his hands?"

"Actually I think you may have been right the first time; he needs to get laid."

"This is Laxus we're talking about right? The one who has literally taken my coat before and fucked a girl on it. WHILE I WAS STILL WEARING IT!"

"No no, I mean like a permanent partner! Not one of those bimbos he usually sleeps around with." She thought for a moment. "Oh I know! We could ask Mira to set him up with someone!"

Her boyfriend eyed her sceptically. "So you're setting him up with someone because he's being a douche? Have you never heard of Karma?!"

Just then Cana poked her head through the door. "Did you call-...ohhh, ok then. Sorry to barge in on this little meeti-..."

"No no no its not what you think!" Erza managed out, a slight blush creeping on her face. "It was...actually no this is great! You're like the second shipper right?" Cana gave a confused nod. "Great! Well I have a ship I'd like you to sail for me!"

The card magician's ears pricked up. "...go on..."

"She wants to set Laxus up with someone." Jellal explained and Cana nearly jumped out of her skin in shock. "Yeah yeah, stupid idea I know but still, worth a shot right?"

"We'd do all of the foot work too..." Erza chipped in, "We'd be unstoppable!"

Cana thought about it for a moment before an evil grin appeared on her face. "I'll see what I can do. In fact; gather everyone that matters at the bar in ten minutes time. I have a proposal that they may wish to consider..."

-_At the bar ten minutes later-_

As ordered Erza had gathered everyone important at the bar. The people there besides were Natsu, Lucy, Happy, Juvia, Gray, Wendy, Gajeel, Levi and Jellal. Whatever they were expecting, it was not what they got.

"Cana...is that...?"

"Yes it is Lucy!" She proudly announced before setting down the huge A2 sheet of paper on the table. "This is the ship that we shall be sailing ladies and gentlemen."

The group gawked at the image before them. "Erm Cana..." Gray began. "You do realise that you've paired Mira with Laxus right?"

"Yeah you must be crazy!" Gajeel snorted. "The guy knows nothing about women apart from how to piss them off gee hee!"

"Plus Mira's so cute and gentle!" Levi cried. "I mean sure he's hot but I dunno if he could..." She blushed as she felt everyone's gaze on her, especially Gajeel's. "What?! Oh come on Lucy, like you haven't had a few dirty thoughts about that body of his!"

Natsu looked puzzled. "Lucy did Laxus drag his muddy boots on your head or something?"

"Something like that..." Erza said slyly before banging her fist on the bar. "Now be quiet! This is the guild's resident backup shipper before us; show her some respect!"

Cana straightened up and cleared her throat. "Ok guys, now I know that this is a long shot but honestly I think its the best pairing of the lot of us."

"And how can we be sure that this even has a possibility of working?" Jellal asked sceptically. "I mean is there any evidence that either one of them likes the other?"

Cana began grinning. "Since you're the fastest, why don't you go check the right hand corner of the shipping wall. It'll be covered by a bit of cloth or something so just lift that up."

Jellal was there and back in a flash. "Well...fuck..."

"How do we know you didn't just put that there before?" Gray asked, just as sceptically as Jellal.

Cana laughed. "Please Gray; as if I could sneak in a ship on there that Mira wouldn't approve of. Besides, it looks old enough to have been there for a while, right Jellal?"

He nodded. "She has a point there. We all know Mira; she'd have killed Cana by now if she didn't agree with it at least a little." They all shuddered at the thought of the demon lady's wrath, knowing it far too well. "Still, how do we know she has a shot with Mr Cunty Fuckpants?"

"I...erm..." Wendy began before clamping her hands around her mouth.

Everyone else there looked at her. "What is it Wendy?" Juvia asked, her and Levi moving either side of the small girl. "You can tell Juvia."

The wind dragon slayer shook her head. "I promised him I wouldn't say..."

"Wendy..." Cana was very interested in what she had to say now. "What if I were to, shall we say, make a deal with you?" The girl looked uncomfortable still, but her eyes brightened at the sound. "How about we do all your chores and pay all your bills for a whole month?"

"And we'll take you to see the fireworks the next time they're on!" Levi added.

Wendy thought about it for a moment. "Well I can do the first one I guess, but Mr Laxus is taking me to see the fireworks himself."

"WHAAA?!" Gajeel roared in disbelief. "You mean that jerk is doing something nice for you?!"

The small girl nodded. "Yeah, he does it all the time! Like take me shopping, buy me sweets, lets me ride on his back while he flies in the clouds..." (_A/N: I'm tempted to do some more Wendy and Laxus fics if anyone is willing to put up with them?_)

"Yes yes, he's a stand up guy..." Cana waved away the comments, having heard them all before whenever she out drank Laxus, which was pretty much a weekly thing, "Now do we have a deal?"

Wendy nodded. "Ok...well every time we go out to somewhere he keeps bringing up Miss Mira. Like last time we went out to get ice cream we got talking about families and he was like 'Well if I'm the dad, then who's the mam?', and I was like 'Miss Mira would make a good mam I think.' and he nodded and agreed with me. Then we went and got some more and he said 'I think we'd make a fun family' and then we ran away without paying like normal."

There was a brief moment of stunned silence in the group that was soon interrupted by Natsu. "But he never takes me for ice cream!"

"Well...I guess that counts as evidence..." Jellal managed out. "I mean can you imagine him saying anything like that about anyone else?!"

Gajeel laughed at that. "Yeah..hee hee...him complimenting someone...gee hee hee!"

As usual, Erza regained her composure first. "I think we have sufficient evidence to conclude that this is indeed a viable ship. Now; how shall we get it to sail?"

"Wait; can't Mira do this herself?" Lucy asked. "I mean this is her ship after all so why hasn't she sailed it herself?"

Cana shrugged. "She always was good at giving advice, but never taking it. Besides, we all had it easy with our partners. Hell even Gajeel is like a kitten in comparison to that douche!"

The iron eater raised a hand to object, but lowered it when he realised she had a point. "I guess even demons feel fear..."

"And Juvia is scared of demons..." The water woman quivered a little bit. "If Juvia were caught telling Laxus about her feelings, she would kill Juvia for sure!"

She did have a valid point. The last time Cana event hinted at anything between her and Laxus the poor girl had been hospitalised before she could say "What the hell?!"

Surprisingly it was Natsu who came up with the idea. "Why don't we just show him?"

The all turned round to look at their usually moronic friend. "That's...not a bad idea Natsu."

"Well it worked for Lucy so I figured it would work for Mr Grumpy." He said smiling. "We could just leave him hints everywhere until he figures it out. Oh oh oh and we could trick Mira into saying something too! I bet if she didn't think he was there, she'd say something for sure!"

A loud clicking sound came from the corner and made everyone turn to Gajeel, who had just pulled out a gun and began loading it. "Well if this is the world where Natsu has a brain, I'm leaving it."

"Wait wait wait!" Gray yelled before he turned off the safety. "...save at least one bullet for me too."

Erza stood up and hit both of them on the back of their heads. "You two stop messing around! We have a legitimate plan to fix this now and although it came from an unlikely source..." Natsu gave a thumbs up, "...we can't just let it pass us by. Now people; let's get to work!"

_-Two hours later in a nearby park-_

It was getting late in the afternoon and so Magnolia Park was almost empty. In fact, the only people there to accompany the ducks and trees were the two male S-Class wizards from Fairy Tail.

"It's like nobody is on my level anymore!" Laxus yelled at the ducks, causing them to flap away from the park bench the two were currently sitting on. "They're all hanging out with their stupid ass women being all 'ohhh I care for them' and crap. The hell happened to people?!"

Gildarts patted the younger man on the back. Anyone else would have probably been sent flying into the pavement, but Laxus wasn't anyone else. "Well kid; I guess it's time to have a little talk with you about women. Or men if that's your..."

"Christ Old Man I'm not five!" The lightening mage jumped up and glared at his companion. "I'm pretty sure we're on equal terms in the whole bedroom department anyways. In fact, I'm probably further these days! And why the hell would you think I like guys?! If Freed has said anything else I swear to god..."

"No Laxus, I meant about relationships." He stood up and put his hand on Laxus' shoulder. "I know you've been with god knows how many women, but how many have you _been_ with?"

"The hell's that supposed to-..."

"How many women have you actually dated?"

There was a silence for a moment before Gildarts received his answer. "The same amount as the number I've wanted to date; none."

"Not even once?"

"...Gildarts, the fuck did I just say?"

The red head sighed. "You always were a bad liar."

Laxus swatted the hand aside. "Christ man I came here to vent on you and instead you lecture me about the same shit as everyone else! The hell man; you're supposed to the be cool one!"

"Well that's not hard compared to the rest of those idiots." He snorted. "Still, just think about it man. If everyone else is no longer with you, then maybe you're the problem, right? And what about the old saying 'If you can't beat them, join them'? Even if you won't admit it I'm sure there's someone out there who you could at least tolerate for a bit." He put his good hand in his pocket and laughed. "Anyways this crap is waaaaay too deep for today. Wanna go and get hammered again?"

Laxus laughed. "Finally a good suggestion!" However, as he turned to head to the nearest watering hole, he found his path blocked by Cana, Erza and Jellal. "The fuck are you fail whales doing here"?

Cana smiled sweetly. "Well I came here to have a talk with my dad about kids and how pregnancy at my age isn't such a bad thing..." Within seconds the other three people there were gone, making her laugh. "Just kidding! Sorry dad but I'm borrowing Laxus for a bit."

Gildarts was still in shock. "...S-So you're not pregnant right?"

"Nope."

"Thank Christ!" He collapsed back on the seat panting. "Almost...gave me a heart attack there..."

"So...you're ok with me taking L-..."

"Yeah god fine do whatever nobody cares. Well, don't get pregnant. Well I mean you can get pregnant, just not now..." And so Cana sacrificed the rest of her evening listening to her father ramble about pregnancy while the rest of the gang carried out her plan.

_-Back at the Guild Hall-_

"Well since things haven't started exploding yet, its safe to say that Gildarts passed out..." Laxus said before looking around the guild hall. "So what have you idiots been up...oh Jellal! How are you doing there buddy?"

Jellal wanted to punch the grin right off his face. "How do you thi-..." He was stopped when Laxus walked over and gave him a bro hug. "Erm...what?"

"I think it was a bit harsh on you before man but you took it pretty well. Its been a long day for me so how about we go get a drink and make up?"

"Yeah that sounds go-..." The celestial wizard almost accepted the unusually kind offer but luckily he remembered why he was there. "Actually Laxus I think Levi wants a word with you."

The blonde man snorted. "So what; I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow. Now lets go..."

"Its pretty urgent I think." Erza chipped in.

"Great; that means that by blowing it off she'll be even more pissed off..."

"LAXUS FOR GODS SAKES JUST GO TALK TO HER!"

"Jeez fine!" He moaned, rubbing his ear. "You people are way too demanding." Walking over to Levi, he looked down and glared at her. "You've got ten seconds to say-..."

"Actually it'd be easier to just..."

"LET ME FUCKING FINISH JUST ONE OF MY SENTENCES YOU IDIOTS!" He roared and the small woman cowered in fear. "That's better. Now...erm...you have like fifteen...no, it was five...ten? Ten seconds to say what you have to say before I rip off your head and shit down your neck? Yeah lets go with that."

The bluenette simply pointed a shakey finger into the back room and stuttered "U-u-under t-the c-c-c-c-cloth..."

Laxus gave the door a puzzled look. "Huh...never actually been back here. May as well humour you I guess." Walking through the door, the Thunder God was blinded by what was to him the most ridiculous sight in the entire world. "Is this...oh, oh god! She actually made one?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Lucy gave him about five minutes until he had stopped laughing until she entered the room. "Well...I wasn't expecting that response..."

Wiping away the tears from his eyes, Laxus straightened up. "Man I haven't laughed like that in years. Ha ha hey! Oh Christ man what was I supposed to be looking for again?"

"Um...underneath the cloth on the right. You may see something dist-..."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT AM I DOING ON THIS THING?!" He roared. "I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'RE ALL GOING TO...wait. No. No no no! No no NO!" Stomping out of the room via the wall, he gave a death glare to everyone in the room. "OK FUCKERS, WHICH ONE OF YOU SLUNTY DOUCHE CUNTS HAS THE BALLS TO PAIR ME WITH MIRA?!"

There was silence for about a minute before Gajeel spoke up. "Nobody's touched that bar Mira and Cana."

"OH REALLY, THEN WHY AM I PAIRED WITH FUCKING DEMON GIRL?! OH THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE ONE OF YOU IDIOTS IS TRYING TO SCREW ME OVER!"

"Jesus Laxus shut up and think for a minute!" Gray yelled back. "Is there anyone here that would have the suicidal tendency to mess with both you and Mira?!"

And think he did. "...C-Cana. It has to be Cana! I mean her dad is Gildarts for Christ sakes!"

Lucy shook her head. "Still Mira she'd be messing with. Do you honestly think Gildarts could stop her if she went full psycho?"

"...so that means that..." Laxus was interrupted by four people walking into the guild, one of which he wasn't exactly ready to see, "M-Mira?!"

The demon gave the psychologically broken man a puzzled look. "Laxus, what have you..." Then she saw it. The door to the shipping wall room was wide open and there was a gaping hole in the wall, which could only mean... "W-w-where have you just come from?!"

"F-fucking shipping wall Mira! What's o-on the fucking shipping wall?!" Laxus' face was a mixture between purely shocked and utterly terrified. "M-m-my face is o-on the wall Mira!"

There was a moment of silence in the guild before someone spoke again. "So who was it next to again Laxus?"

"NATSU YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!" Lucy yelled, lunging to kill the disturber of this...intimate moment? Is it intimate? Sure, why not.

The rest of the guild's eyes shifted from Laxus to Mira and back again, waiting for one of them to say anything. As per usual, the Thunder God was the first to speak again. "So...did you really put that on the wall?" Silence. "Does this mean...you're actually into me?" Silence. "...erm, hello?"

He wasn't going to get an answer. At that moment Mira was in her happy place, completely away from the events that were unfolding before her. This was her curse; while she was fine getting other people together by telling them what to say and do, she could never manage to find the right thing to do for herself. Lisanna, who had also came to the hospital with her to see their brother, decided to speak for her. "Maybe she did. What's it to you anyways?"

"That's a good question Laxus; what is she to you?" Evergreen walked forward a little bit to stand in front of the frozen woman.

"Well that's simple you id-..." Laxus started before the words of Gildarts rang out in his head. "_I'm sure there's someone out there who you could at least tolerate for a bit._" He gritted his teeth and muttered "God damned old man..." He looked around and spotted his crisis manager. "Wendy, situation thirty-seven. Let's go."

"Sure thing Mr Laxus!" The small girl squeaked and hopped off her chair to follow her friend to the nearest ice cream shop.

As soon as those two left, they were replaced by Bickslow and Freed who were met with a rather confusing sight. "So...I guess we missed out on something big again huh?"

-_At the nearby 'Icey Piecy' shop-_

Wendy had secretly been looking forward to this emergency since it was first thought up. Not only did she get free ice cream, but she also got to talk about the one thing that her older friend was useless with; women he liked.

Said older friend had been nursing his lemon sorbet for about five minutes now. "You know Wendy, if it had been anyone else I probably would have just ripped the shit out of them for it. But...I dunno man, something about Mira is just...different."

"Different how?" The wind wizard placed her hands together to make a triangle shape.

"I'm not sure. Different in a...good way I guess. Like she's compared to all the other bimbos around here she's the most fun to be with."

"Good good." Wendy picked up her ice cream cone from the rack and licked it. "So she's fun to be with but allow me to pose this question to you Mr Laxus; do you love her?"

The Thunder God rolled his eyes. "Oh love, what a pretentious thing. All this 'oh she's the one' crap is just plain old boring!"

"Fine then, do you like her more than the rest?"

He thought for a moment. "Hmm...I guess I do. She's always so warm and friendly to everyone. Plus I love the way how she beats the shit out of people." Taking another bite of his sorbet, he sighed. "Still, you saw her back there in the guild. She just froze when I mentioned it."

"Perhaps that was because she was just as shocked as you were. I mean you weren't as cool as you usually were." Wendy smiled and nodded to the till. "More ice cream please!"

Laxus rolled his eyes before standing up. "Christ I'm taking love advice from a twelve year old. Thank god nobody can see me now."

"And you said we were the uncool ones!" Spinning round, Laxus was greeted with the sight of both Bickslow and Freed. "Getting ice cream with the brat; how lame."

"Blow it out your ass Bickslow!" Was the reply, complete with a glare and a good flipping off. "How the hell did you guys even find me anyways?!"

"It was a simple matter of deduction Master." Freed said, straightening up. "Once we returned to the guild I was able to gather sufficient information to calculate what you had done. Situation thirty seven means that you would have left the guild in search of a nearby shop that would allow you privacy. When you factor in that Wendy went with you, that narrowed it down to either ice cream parlours or fast food restaurants, which was where my real skills came into play..."

Laxus rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah we know you're great Sherlock. So what have you got there in your hands?"

Taking his hands out from behind his back, the rune mage offered the blonde a small book. "I acquired this from behind the counter of the bar while the others were attempting to get Mira to respond to them. I believe it is her diary."

"Mr Laxus no!" Wendy yelled, running from the table to them. "That's personal!"

Laxus eyed the book cautiously. "So you want me to read the most personal, private and possible embarrassing thoughts that Mira has ever had?" His subordinates nodded. "...gimmie."

Taking the book, he flicked to a random page and began reading. "'January Second; Today was the day my new beads arrived...'"

Bickslow slammed the book shut before Wendy got nightmares. "A-actually we already flicked through it and marked the important sections for you." He pointed to the little flaps of paper jutting out from the top of the book.

"Good job guys." Laxus muttered before turning to the first marked section. "'February Twelfth; I finally went to see that new play at Magnolia Theatre...' Bickslow what the hell is this crap?!"

"Just skip to maybe the second last line."

"Ahh fine! 'Laxus came back from his quest finally. He looks a bit tired so I tried not to bother him but it was so hard! Especially when I saw all the bruises on his body. All I wanted to do was hug him, but I don't think that's exactly his scene. Maybe next time I guess.' ...god she's soppy! Hell the only reason I had bruises was because of that damned train seat. I've sat on more comfortable cacti!"

Wendy laughed. "I think you're missing the point here. She wants to cuddle you."

The Thunder God quirked an eyebrow. "Is that a good thing?" She nodded smiling. "Well ok then; let's see what the next one has to offer. 'April Fifth;' Elfman feeling ill...some shit about him and Evergreen...missing underwear...oh, here we go! 'Had a good conversation with Laxy today.'" He shuddered a bit at her pet name for him. "'He's actually pretty funny when he isn't being a dick. I ended up getting cuddled on his knee. Score! If only I could do that every day.' Yeah I remember that one too. We ended up talking about what music we were into and I made her listen to some genuinely good bands. I thought she was just enjoying the music but I guess not..."

Bickslow smirked. "The other ones are a bit less...PG shall we say but since you get the idea I guess there's no reason to read them."

"...I'll be back in fifteen minutes." And with that the dragon slayer left to check out the rest of the diary for, ahem, research purposes. After twenty minutes of the other three standing awkwardly eating ice cream he finally returned with wide eyes and a traumatised look. "I mean I knew she was into some kinky shit but...damn son. Damn."

"So what is the plan now Master Laxus?" Freed enquired, still wearing a goofy smile from the praise he had received earlier.

Their leader grinned. "Oh I'm sure I'll think of something..."

-_Back at the guild hall-_

Cana and Gildarts strolled into the guild hall expecting something a lot different to what was there. After explaining her plan to her father, Cana was looking forward to seeing the new couple cuddling on one of the couches or drinking together at the bar. However, the sight she was greeted with was something far from that. "Erm Mira...why do you have a suitcase in your hand?"

Mira looked towards the new voice with tears still streaming down her face. "Oh no reason Cana, just my life here is now officially over."

"Why's that?"

"Well, you know, Laxus found the shipping wall and saw the ship."

"Oh really?!" Cana feigned surprise and gasped. "What did you do?!"

The demon dropped the bag and ran over to her friend. "Oh I froze up Cana! I just froze, then he talked, then he left with Wendy, then I stood there for about five minutes, then Freed and Bickslow went to find him and they're not back and...and..."

Cana shooshed her friend and cuddled her. "It'll be ok. I bet he's just gone to-..."

Elfman hobbled through the door beside Evergreen with a worried look on your face. "I couldn't find that book for you sister. I...wasn't manly enough."

"If my diary isn't in my room then..." All of the colour drained from Mira's face. "No...if he read it I'd die..."

Cana had to suppress a smile. "_So the backup plan did work. Excellent._"

Just then Freed and Bickslow strolled into the guild. "Did you find him?!" Mira asked in a shrill voice of desperation, completely missing the flash of light that followed them.

"We did see the Master," Freed reported, "but he did not want to be disturbed. He seemed to be reading a book of some kind whilst wearing a highly traumatised face."

Mira was silent for a whole minute before going back over to pick up her suit case. "...he has my diary and I have my train tickets. It's been nice knowing you all but now I must leave forever."

"Or you could tell Mr Laxus how you feel?" Wendy's voice called from the doorway. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind that muc-...OW!"

Mira leaped on the small girl and pinned her down. "Where is he?! What did he say?! How did he get my diary?!"

Bickslow and Freed cringed at that last question a little bit but luckily Wendy wasn't planning to rat them out any time soon. "He was a bit...surprised and I think he's still a bit sceptical of everything. Why didn't you just tell him how you felt Miss Mira?"

She released her grip on the dragon slayer and sighed. "Oh Wendy, one day you'll understand. It's not easy to tell someone how you feel, especially when that person is Laxus."

"But you have to! What is he likes you back?!"

Mira laughed. "Please Wendy, as if he'd do that. So I go up to him and say 'Laxus, you are literally my favourite person in existence. You're kind, funny, hot and down right perfect in every way, and if it's not too much to ask I'd like to be with you every second of every day forever.'. What do you think he'd say?!"

Everyone in the room bar one person went "Awwwww!" at that statement. The one person however simply stood up for his position at the back of the room and shouted in a gruff voice "Well let's find out then!"

The entire guild bar Wendy, Bickslow and Freed jumped at hearing Laxus' voice. Mira of course was the most stunned of all of them. "S-s-so...f-funny story r-right?"

"I enjoyed it." He shrugged and held up her diary, causing Mira to start gawking at him. "This on the other hand...I've read some kinky shit in the past but this...this wins the award. I don't think I'll ever look at broccoli the same way again."

"...eeeeeeep..." Was all she could respond.

Laxus laughed. "I figured I'd be doing most of the talking here. Now I'm not exactly going to win any awards for being Mr Emotional any time soon and god knows I'm not a poet..." He thought about what to say next for a moment before getting up and walking towards her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is...nothing. I suck at words almost as much as you do." He stopped when he was about a foot away from her. You could cut the tension in the air with a plank of wood. "May as well just show you how I feel instead." When all that was said he bent down, wrapped his arms around the statue in front of him and kissed her.

"_Well at least this nightmare I can get behind..._" Mira thought as electricity flowed through her. She could never really put the feeling into words, but to her it was probably the most pleasant and warm feeling in the world. The two immersed themselves in the moment so much that they didn't notice that after the two minute mark the rest of the guild had stopped cheering and instead were just looking at them. When he finally broke it off, she practically fell into his arms with a stupid grin on her face. "Ahe he he..."

The lightening magician grinned and wiped the drool that was trickling out of the corner of her mouth. "Guess this means we're dating then."

"I like this dream..." Mira giggled. "No wait...he feels warmer than I usually imag..." She slowly looked up at her grinning new boyfriend. "This...this is happening isn't it?"

"Damn right it is. What; did you think I'd say n-..." He was cut off by another kiss. There was no way in hell she was going to miss another second of him.

"Now since Mr Laxus is...busy, I will have to speak for him." Wendy announced to the rest of the guild, "He is well away of the fact that most, if not all, of the people here were involved in this."

Everyone present gulped while Freed moved over to stand beside her. "Therefore, the Master has prepared something special for all of you just outside."

They all stood frozen in terror for a moment. Usually Laxus' gifts were horrible and often caused grievous bodily harm. Hell not even an idiot would get excited for them! "Oh oh oh I'll go see!" ...and then there's Natsu. He rushed outside with the rest of the guild close behind him, trying to pull him back in before he was burned or drowned or something. This time though they were all greeted with a pleasant gift. "I don't...believe it!"

There in front of them was an almost life-sized replica of the guild made of Lego, complete with all of the members standing outside waving. He'd gotten the details exactly right, all the way down to Gary's usual lack of clothing and all of the different ships. And right there at the front was him and Mira holding hands and smiling with a speech bubble over their heads that read "We owe you one."

"I think I prefer this one to his last build." Jellal muttered smiling before turning around with Erza to face everyone. "I guess we nailed this one guys!"

Cana smiled too and raised her hands. "All the ships are sailing now, so lets go get hammered!" And hammered they all got.

_A/N: There, all done. I hope that was a good read for everyone despite being longer than usual. As usual, read, review and recommend some more for me to do :)_


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